#and u could buy up all the stars but it wouldn't change who you are

[izzy-b-hands]

had. the weirdest dream/nightmare/clearly a cymbalta dream bc i went to bed stone cold sober lmao

it involved:

me getting partial top sx but 'we only took abt six months of growth off' (?????????????????!) so it left me with like. p nice b cups actually. with the note that if i wanted it flatter later, i could come back and they'd take more out.

ngl that made me wake up super fucking chest dysphoric, but what are ya gonna do

then i was getting this done somewhere else??? but needed to fly home and v much did not want to bc: worried abt the sx results and being in the air?? and also just my usual flying anxiety lol

i really wanted to go by amtrak instead, but any time i tried to pull out my phone and buy tickets someone random would tell me to keep moving?

which led to me in a hotel with taika and rita, who agreed to help me get on the plane and not immediately have a panic attack

(v sweet of them, thank u dream taika and rita, tho at that point it was implied they were the ones who agreed to look after me after the sx? unexpected, but lovely all the same bc otherwise it was clear i was more or less on my own)

Between there and the airport

(this v weird one that featured in past cymbalta dreams, v gorgeous but definitely Fucked Up in that it has a Langoliers airport vibe to it kadnfnfn)

i got separated from them briefly, given a large dark brown teddy bear? that i was told to take with me but that i might have to buy two seats for bc 'his ass won't fit in just one' or so i was told by some random guy (continuing ?????????)

Which i dropped back off at taika and rita's hotel room bc literally it was as big as me so carrying it was not working

only to get trapped in what i was told was this huge empty locker room/bathroom that was presumed unisex

(this has also featured in a past cymbalta dream, and it's hands down one of the creepiest locations bc it goes on for halls of like. change stalls and some doors are closed with feet underneath them, but if you open the door no one is in there)

only to go change bc ???? and have some girls flip out abt me being in there as a trans guy

they chased me out, and somehow i was back at the airport with that fucking bear, finding out that the boarding time had changed and they'd forgotten to tell ppl, so we (taika and rita just suddenly showed up out of the blue, no idea what the fuck they were up to) were a good fifteen minutes late but taika was like nah they know ur scared so they held the plane and i had to go no, no i don't think they did bc that wouldn't work for like. anyone else on the plane but that's a really sweet idea

then suddenly we get pulled into a hall where they explain (they being what i think were security guards) that this elderly famous comedian is dying and they need someone to keep an eye on him for a minute would we mind?

they disappear into the fuckin air so we don't actually get a choice and like. watch him die. laying in a weird star trekesque bed thing that, for reasons unexplained, was made out of the darth vader suit

anyway

he dies, we all get weirdly emotional abt it despite not actually caring abt him, it was just like. super traumatic hearing an extended death rattle (I've heard it before but still) so i think that fucked us up

ended with taika asking if i really wanted to get on the plane bc we totally didn't have to, and both him and rita comforting me while i had a sudden sobbing fit into this poor big pain in the ass to carry this ENTIRE TIME bear

(final thing implied was that we were in some poly relationship bc they did both kiss me and sorta. wrapped me and the bear up in cuddles sitting on airport lobby chairs together. it was v weird yet v nice, idk.)

then i woke up with my body so tense it gave me a headache until i hit the shower to get my muscles to unclench

I wish my doc would look at these posts and see what i mean when i say the edibles help me sleep, bc i am v much still sleeby rn and i feel like this dreammare didn't help things lmao

[terushimas-n1-hater]

𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 ٭

𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Genre: kind of fluffy but its mostly angst

Warnings: toxic (abusive??) parents, arranged marriages, toxic relationships.

!Timeskip spoilers!

Playlists I listened to while writing this

"Good job..you did great out there."  You said with a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah" he smiled "thank you for your support, without you and many others I would've never won so, thank you"

He said with genuine smile on his face. He got closer to the sofa, he sat down letting out a long sigh "oh" he said as if he remembered something.

"Hey! Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah i guess"

"Okay okay here, i got you something."

he said handing you a bag "u- um thank you?" You're confused yet curious looking inside the bag you see a little box, it looked like a jewellery box...but why would he buy you jewellery? all you did was praise him and help him go through the tiring days because of training for the Olympics, so why would he buy you something expensive?

"You look curious, why don't you open it and see it for yourself." He said looking at you with a soft look. You took the box out of the bag opening it, What a gift....

It looks so beautiful

It was a pretty looking necklace. Its gold and Choker like with pretty little stars that go all around it. You remember wanting a necklace like this..

How did he know you wanted something like this?

Is this a coincidence?

You dont even talk to him that much?

What is he on exactly?

You looked at him and looked at the box again "uh..I saw you last month and how you were looking at that same necklace, it looked like you wanted it so um i got it for you" he said smiling softly

"But why? Is this out of pity or something?" You said with a confused face "what! Of course not! do..do you not like it?" "No no! I like it but its just kinda random.. since I didn't really do anything to deserve a gift like this.." You said sighing.

Your story with tooru was long.

You never wanted to marry a man. In fact the thought alone of a man's touch made you nauseous beyond all belief. But he.....wasn't any different from any other man you've always wanted to avoid. But with parents like yours, the moment they found out about your thoughts they completely lashed out on you saying that all those feelings and thoughts are not expected in their household. And Forcing you to marry a man that you never saw or knew about before in your life. I mean he wasn't mean to you never laid a hand on you.

But still, It didn't feel right.

You felt captured, you felt stuck in a dead end. Like there was no where else to go. Being a housewife for almost 2 years now made you fall in many depressive episodes. And he knew that, he knew so so well about all the depressive episodes you were in, He knew it all. He tried to help you, but there was nothing for him to do since he himself doesn't know you or anything about you.

Which made it harder for the both of you to understand each others struggles. He never forced you to stay inside the house and do stuff for him like how your parents want you to. He let you free, let you do what you want. There is nothing else for him to do. In fact the both of you thought about getting a divorce, but you both knew that both your parents would not let that happen. Although yes you both had something somewhat in common, you both loved space.

You specifically loved stars. And you could guess that he caught up with your love for stars. You wore a lot clothing and jewellery that had something with stars or space. He thought it was cute, so when he saw you looking at this very pretty necklace he knew you wanted it.

"First its not out if pity and second i got it for you since i kinda knew you liked stuff like this.." 

"Thank you tooru I really appreciate it."

I mean who wouldn't appreciate a gift like this?you loved and valued this gift but something just doesn't feel right with tooru honestly.. But it was just a gut feeling so you decided to just ignored it.

Again, tooru isn't the type that would keep you in his house and order you around. So you had many opportunities to get outside and have some fun you get me? Almost every weekend you'd get yourself all dolled up and go out with your friends For a little night out.

This not only made you happy and made you forget about all the shit you were going through, but it gives you a chance to do other fun things if you know what i mean. Hear me out, you knew it was wrong, so wrong actually. But it won't hurt anyone right? I mean tooru doesn't actually like you so, why not?

You did this with many people you meet at the club, specifically women. You loved it honestly. It made you feel more open and more happy about yourself. You didn't feel as captured as you used to, it was just great.

It was one of those nights again, you were laughing and chatting with one of your friends wearing (dress/suit wtv you prefer)

You felt so confident and happy. Moments later Your friend excused themselves to go to the bathroom, you nodded as they went to the bathroom. You were leaning on the bar and drinking your drink looking at the people on the dance floor drunkenly grinding and dancing together. You looked around to see this very pretty lady admiring you with a soft smile on her face, You smiled a bit while getting closer to her.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked with a cheeky smile

"No..i just thought you look pretty"

"Oh?"

"Very actually.." You giggled at that statement.

You and....aiko chatted for a pretty long time you kinda forgot about your friend. Aiko, aiko..what a pretty name, You were so interested in this girl honestly all you wanted to do is sit there and know all about her.

"What a pretty necklace you got there!" She said pointing at the necklace tooru gave to you.

"Oh! Yeah my.. brother gave it to me as a gift."

"Aww"

You both chatted for a while more and exchanged phone numbers

"Dont forget to text me!!" She said waving at you and blowing you a lil kiss.

You smiled and sighed, its probably time to go home.

You were looking for your friend to tell them that its time to leave, you took out your phone to call them and to know where they are until you saw you got some unread messages from them.

"Oooo ;)"

"Yall better make out after this."

"Okay I kinda ship bye"

"ANYWAYS..I'm going to leave this nasty azz club and leave ya too alone *wink wonk* "

"Love you AND DONT FORGET TO TEXT ME WHEN  YOUR HOME"

You smiled at the text messages. You really did appreciate having a friend like them..But, its time to head home now before it gets even more late. You paid for your drinks took your stuff on your way out.

You finally got back home, tooru was sleeping on your shared bed so now you have be extra careful not to wake him up.

After you changed and got ready for bed. Already texted your Friend letting them know you went home safely.

"Are you free this Tuesday?"

You just got a message from someone with the name "your bbg 😻" you chuckled remembering Akio saved here contact name on your phone that.

"Yeah i am!"

"Great wanna hang out? There is this café I went to before THEY SELL THE BEST BAGELS EVER"

"Oh sure!"

"Okay i will send you the location to the café tmr kk?"

"Okay goodnight bbg 😻"

"LMAO GOODNIGHT 💖💝💗💓❤"

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¡A/n! : okay so ahm ahm I wrote this in a pretty bad mental state so, if there is errors or spelling mistakes OR ITS JUST BAD I apologise. But I do hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed thinking and writing about it!! I will be making a part 2 to finish this because I just realised that if I finish this all at once it would be a wattpad story type long lmaooo. Thank u and have a great dayy (ﾉ´ з `)ノ💕💞💓💗💖💝

[randomboo256]

Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack

So recently, against my better judgement, I decided to purchase the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack. For those somehow unaware, the Expansion Pack is a $50 subscription service that gives you all the features of base NSO as well as N64 and Genesis games. It's a $30 increase over the base service, which considering it's a service you have to renew, is a huge money investment. $30 per year just to get access to two more consoles.

However, that alone isn't the whole issue. Firstly, the consoles chosen are... baffling to say the least. N64 makes sense, but Genesis? You can already play Genesis games on Switch, and Genesis games are released all the time on all platforms. It's frankly not a very enticing offer. $30 can buy you a Genesis collection on Switch that you can actually keep after a year. I just can't see many people who were swayed over to upgrade to the expansion pack because of Genesis.

No, the real star of the show is of course the Nintendo 64 games, however there's MANY issues with them. Firstly, the amount of these games are pitiful. At launch, there were only 9 games. After a few months, we managed to work our way up to 13 games. This is a subscription service! The idea of these services is that the catalog is so huge, you'd never be able to buy it all via normal means. If you bought every movie and show on Netflix or Hulu, you'd be spending thousands. Meanwhile, 13 N64 games is the type of modest lineup a kid back in the day would probably have. Wii U Virtual Console prices N64 at $10. Well, that's $130. That's not cheap, but it's also not "wow there's no way I could afford this normally" either.

Yeah I know the N64 didn't have like, a big library. It was pretty small, with only around 300 games in total. So drip-feeding games very slowly is basically their only option. So maybe, just a thought, but maybe it wasn't a good idea to have N64 be the sole carrying force of this service. No one is buying it for Genesis, so they should've added Gameboy or Gamecube to fill out the service to give us more games worth looking forward to.

Finally, the games themselves have serious issues, both graphically and gameplay wise. To start with, the games are being output in 720p, which is much higher than N64 normally has. It's an odd change. Textures seem unchanged, so that means that blurry assets like the HUD stand out more. Also, I don't think Nintendo knows what the word "Anti-Aliasing" means. On one hand, the games look clearer. On the other hand, they're riddled with artifacting, which is especially obvious when playing on TV. It just doesn't professional quality, let alone a premium charge.

Going into this, you'd at least expect Nintendo to have some basic screen settings.

Presumably, Classic (The games displayed in their original resolution), Clear (Upscaled graphics), and Classic with a scanline filter. This would mirror what they did with NES, SNES, and Genesis. However, the games have zero screen settings at all, so if you want an authentic resolution you're bang out of luck. It's a shame, especially considering these games look more natural in native resolution.

Meanwhile on the other side of things, if you're going to upscale why stop at 720p? 720p is the bare minimum for HD. Why not just upscale to 1080p? You've already given up being authentic so just give us the clearest image then. It's baffling all around. On the bright side, the Switch's screen is 720p, so at least in handheld mode it looks nice and crisp. It just looks ugly once you dock it.

And that's all just me talking about resolution. N64 Online also infamously launched with a ton of embarrassing visual bugs that made their iconic titles look downright ugly. Fortunately, most got ironed out in updates. But like, they still released a super unpolished product for like $50 and hoped we wouldn't notice. That's awful.

Finally, let's talk about gameplay. These games don't play well. The N64 controller was infamously weirdly designed, so it's hard to map it to modern controllers. Every game used it a bit differently. Guess what I'm about to say. Yep! N64 Online has awful and confusing button mapping! Even after hours and hours of playing it, I still struggled with these controls. N64 Online has no button remapping at all, when it desperately needs per game button mapping. Unfortunately, not even the Switch's system wide button remapping is enough to fix this. But these aren't the only problem with controls. The analog stick is too sensitive. The N64 had a weird stick that's hard to emulate, and this emulator doesn't do it well. Aiming in games like OoT is a jittery mess because you can't make small movements like you can on a real N64 controller.

"But hey, Nintendo released a new version of the N64 controller for Switch! Just use that! It'll fix all the controller problems." Oh ok. I'll go buy it then OH WAIT I CAN'T. Firstly it's ANOTHER $50, but secondly it's out of stock with no signs of ever returning in stock. Nintendo never should've made the controller limited release when it's basically required to have a nice control experience. So that's just great. Also, the original N64 controller was a fragile bitch that wore down and got worse the more you used it, and the new one recreates all the old one's faults. So in a few years of use your rare $50 controller will be reduced to garbage without manual repairs.

The only thing I haven't mentioned in this service are the dlc things like Animal Crossing and Mario Kart. But I have nothing to say. It's a bad deal. Why spend $50 on a service so you can rent $25 dlc? It's blatantly a ripoff.

So in conclusion, this service is a total mess. It's overpriced, lacking in games, lacking in consoles, and lacking in overall polish. Nintendo should be ashamed of themselves for this service.

[koshertumtum]

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? this morning

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? did julius caesar want to become king

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? going up in ancient history from an SA2 to a HA4

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? adopting Larney

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? boi would i be a menace

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? no lol

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. she is smooth, she has a enticing laugh, she's a mum and she always knows what to say

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? sort of

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? omg in front of my dad bc i told him i did drugs

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. um sophie!!! bc she admires constellations and the earths beauty and always has really cool words and facts about them

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? probs not

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? 3am i was driving home from sea world with daniel courtney ellie and jelly and courtney asked me what the time was

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? i put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass @ everyone

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? BEAUTOFUL!!! A MASTERPIECE!!! so pretty!!!

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. 'no'

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? Elevators

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? buy a big house and lots of dogs

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? i can be sorta forgiving ,, but it depends what you do

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. don't even start writing fanfiction u mess

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? both???

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. GIMME!!! they don't define your work ethic or how smart you are, they represent your personality

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? i don't! sometimes i do,, but i usually can't be bothered of feel as if my face is good enough without it

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. just the entirety of Like a Weight by The Jungle Giants

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. donald trump is a racist sexist bigot irrit piss baby

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. 1. One Direction

2. Vance Joy

3. The Jungle Giants

4. Ball Park Music

THEY MADE ME FEEL SO HAPPY!!!!

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? from ryan reynolds saying everything he loves about his wife and child

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? i don't anymore lmao??

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? a mess™ i don't really have one lol

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? i got in a car with someone who was under influence ://

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? a nice green!!! and just short

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? sophie, taylah, mr boddice, ms freier and literally go to a big zoo or a nice garden

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. i wan a dog,, david bowie to be alive and to all my friends to be happy

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? had hanky panky???

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? EAT FAECES!!

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? probably one song, and make it a gorrilaz song,, i wouldn't be able to deal with one person forever

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. no fuck u

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? YEAH

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? i can't order coffee i don't know anything

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? rick sanchez giving up himself for the safety of his family,

fin.